I Have a List of Desirable Traits. Exactly why is it Difficult for ladies to devote?

Reader Question:

Me: 46 yrs . old, African-American male, specialist profession, homeowner, attractive, 20-year-old child. I date beyond my race. I’m in excellent shape.

This indicates approximately women want to have a committed relationship, they do not would you like to agree to myself. I actually do have a « list » of attractive traits — attractive, able to manage her finances, a social or nondrinker and somebody who is actually willing and able to travel and carry out acts.

Exactly why is it difficult for women to commit while I give outward signs and symptoms of wanting to be in a committed union?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Yes, way too many women can be behaving like men (or the way they THINK guys act) and they are avoiding commitment. However, I will reveal there are still a lot more ladies who desire a secure connection than maybe not.

I’m thinking the reasons why you may seem to get attracted to ladies who avoid a great connection. Could this be your choice in targets?

My advice would be to consult with women that you may not in the beginning end up being interested in to discover any time you warm-up in their eyes. Occasionally all of our failure to get a safe union relates to our very own fears of abandonment.

Simply put, we selected partners exactly who cannot get close to shield united states from becoming « dangerously » shut and exposure abandonment.

Try online dating the type of individual you have never, actually ever dated prior to. Go-slow. And look closely at your feelings along the way.

Do you ever be quickly envious, like to get a grip on her time or wish to seal the offer too quickly? The secret is to consist of yourself and quell yours fears.

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